The last Monday in May is designated as a national holiday to remember those who died defending our country’s rights, values, and freedom. Beyond those active duty memorials it is also a time to reflect on family and friends who have also departed from this world.
On Sunday I took my mother to the cemetery where my father is buried. She replaced the spring-like arrangement of plastic flowers with a new assortment that will bear the heat and humidity of the coming summer. I also placed a wreath on his grave that had a ribbon across it that said “Dad.” After paying our respects to him, we roamed about visiting other graves acknowledging those we knew. Some were older and some young.
One grave that we visited was that of a young beautiful girl who lived not far from my parents and was a childhood BFF of my daughter. She was a victim of a heinous crime that ended in her murder. She never got to see her 9th year of life. It has been 20 years since her death. I wonder who she would be today? Perhaps a wife, a mother, a lawyer, a doctor; the possibilities are endless?
I am a firm believer that people in general can exceed expectations and become an individual of notable importance to one or many. The degree of importance is determined in one’s legacy. How will this person be remembered and who will remember this person?
Approximately 2,000 years ago, a person name Jesus lived and now commands billions of followers. About 500 years ago, it is suggested a man named William Shakespeare lived and penned plays and prose. Today, he is applauded as the greatest writer of the English language. Roughly 60 years ago, a kid from Memphis, TN influenced a new brand of music called rock n’ roll that has not been equaled. All three are remembered post-mortem for their contributions to our world and today, the notoriety of the former two greatly exceeds that which they experienced during their life and the same may be said for the latter as over 600,000 visitors came to Graceland last year – 28 years after it was opened to the public.1
I occasionally visit cemeteries to gaze at names, dates, gravestone notations, etc. I see graves decorated with flowers, figurines, mementos, clean or polished grave markers, or other evidence that someone has recently been to that site. I also see other sites that are aged, and have no indication of recent visits. I expect the memorial visits end when the last living person who knew the deceased also dies. It is at this point in time I believe that most of us become anonymous to the masses.
A recent exception to this belief is a family in Frisco, TX who pays homage to a boy named Walter Hagood, Jr., who died in 1908. His family was moving westward and stopped in Frisco long enough for his mother to deliver Walter and then bury him 4 days later.. A lady, Nancy Higginbotham, who lived in Frisco, TX at that time told Mrs. Hagood that she would maintain the grave for their family. One hundred years later, the great-great grandchildren of Mrs. Higginbotham continue to decorate the grave each May.2 This deceased child is unknown, but not anonymous to this family. The family values of loyalty and honesty are its legacy.
We are all significant to those we love and those that love us. Beyond that, it poses more questions for me about the significance of my own life. As I get older with the sobering realization that in the normal order of things, I am a member of the next generation who will one day possess only a head marker above a sod of grass that identifies me as one who existed. Who will come to place flowers on my grave? What will those who come to remember me recall about me? Will someone acknowledge me three generations ahead or will I be one of many forgotten people who once lived on earth? We each are responsible for our legacy and I personally dislike the thought of one day being seen as one who lived life anonymously.
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