Parenthood

Last week the final episode of the weekly television show Parenthood ended after 6 years.  The show depicted a family consisting of two liberal baby boomer parents who had 4 children and several grandchildren.  The show was produced by Ron Howard, who should be give props for amazing storylines, genius casting and generating superb acting performances. 

The show touched on many of the issues most of have experienced or may experience in our own lives.  There were the relationships – the patriarch and matriarch, the parents and their children, the in-laws, the ex-husband and ex-wife, the boyfriends and girlfriends, the siblings, the grandchildren, and other people who became important parts of the collective story and the individual stories.  Then there were aspects of life the show highlighted – marriage, divorce, single parenthood, interracial relationships, diversity (one of the grandkids and one of the adults had Asperger’s Syndrome), adoptions, infidelity, drug use, college dorm life, abortion, post-traumatic stress, same sex relationships, self-doubts, chasing dreams, new beginnings and losses.   The common denominator for all members of this family was their love for each other. 

Parenting has no play book.  I guess the closest thing is Dr. Spock’s Baby and Child Care book first published in 1946 which my mother used as a parental reference tool. There is no perfect way or best way to parent.  There is a tendency for us to parent as we were parented because that is what we know.  It’s generally trial and error with the first kid, and then those experiences help set the mold for parenting the kids that come along later. 

A new movie recently hit the cinema called Black or White.  The premise of this movie is a man becoming a single-parent to a mixed-race grandchild that is coupled with the challenges of race and cultural differences.  He learned raising his grandchild was nothing like raising his daughter.

On the last episode of the Parenthood show, the patriarch was reflecting on his life as a father with his daughter and asked her, “was I a good father?”  Her response with tears in her eyes was, “the best.”  What a powerful scene. 

I suppose that is the circle of life.  Most of us seek approval from our parents growing up and then as life’s clock winds down for us, we seek approval from our kids for our body of work as parents. 

I would settle for a yes to the question above while I continue to strive to be a better dad and hopefully the best grandpa.